~I live a double life~

**Precursor to the precursor... This was meant to be online yesterday, however I am having some computer issues at the moment and it crashed and decided it was taking the night off.. I apologize for being absent for so long.  

*I had originally hoped to take an amazing photo of myself with really super gnarly makeup on one side and my pretty self on the other. Unfortunately the last few days have been a bit crazy with work and life so that just didn't come into fruition today.


The old work and home gag eh ..

              There are a great number of us out there allowing ourselves to be employed in frustrating, disheartening, unsatisfying and (possibly most important) unsuitable jobs. I can't take this, I will not take this. I am going to stand up for myself and allow myself to be happy. I will not continue working in a field that I fell into as a teenage, I will not stay because its comfortable and because its 'all' I know. I am brave and I will pursue my dreams to have harmony between my work and home. I wish the same for every other person I know and will ever know. We all deserve to be happy, we forget that sometime. Our work life is an overwhelmingly important part of that equation. I adore all of the people I currently work with, but that is not enough.

             I look forward to waking in the morning and being excited about where I get to go, even on the days that I have to work! As a direct result of that I will also be a better mother and friend. I appreciate that I have come to these conclusions at a younger age. For all who have enter into their Winter years hating what they have done for 20, 30 or 40+ years, for them I vow not make that mistake. 

              I feel as though I am two different people. I am the mother, the muse, the handy man and cleaning lady at home, a place where my job is fulfilling, satisfying and wonderfully gratifying  . At work I am the opposite of that person, I do the things that I am told to do, usually to the best of my abilities, I handle certain situations well and others with a great deal of anxiety and frustration. I generally take nothing away from this job other then the distinct desire to have a large cocktail and a cigarette. This is unacceptable.

I will merge my two sides and experience harmony because of it and quite frankly, I can't fucking wait!!