So tired!

Ok.. So far it seems pretty much impossible for me to blog and work all in the same day. But here we are, progress not perfection.. I am doing this.. maybe not as consistently as I would like.. but its happening!

I believe I've mentioned on here before my "sleep stuff" as I often refer. I have always had problems sleeping, I am an insomniac. It does however seem to be extra extra shitty at the moment. Most day I wake up laying in bed for a minimum of a few hours waiting for my girls to wake up, too tired to get up and still not sleeping. It's completely lame on so many levels. It has been really upsetting me lately for one reason more then others.. For once, my practice seems steady and consistent, I'm eating well, my girls are well, my partner is well and still I can't stop thinking long enough to sleep! GRRrrrrRrrr! I think in the last week or so I have pinpointed the cause of this mental mumbo jumbo. I have reached a completely different stage in my practice. Yoga has always been mental for me and by mental I don't mean spiritual. Yoga has always been an awesome way to make me sleep, it calms my mind and my nervous system, yay! Trouble is it isn't doing anything for the brain bit right at the moment, for the most part my body feels great, but the monkey mind appears to be gaining speed and strength. Feck. Seriously? I find this a little terrifying. Although this too is another example of something that's said in the room ringing true in the rest of my life; "Whatever your practice is today, that's it and thats ok. No expectations, only intentions." The journey of  life / self discover / peace / mental health / self satisfaction is unnerving in nature (to say the very least) when one first realizes and accepts that they have no control over it. My intention is to allow Yoga to help me flush away my neurosis, self destructive behavior and habit.. This is not how its play playing out right now, plain and simple. I want to accept this new path, I don't however understand it and that makes it difficult. I am sure that now the seed is planted the answers to these questions will soon reveal themselves! Then maybe I'll get some damn sleep.

I found this amazing site out of Vancouver, its all about comics and exposing the locals. They have a few hilarious insomnia ones. Unfortunately I can't figure out how to give an image of any of them. My favorite is "The Dangers of Sleep Deprivation".